Random thoughts from the VMAs

John Norris is way too old for MTV. Listening to him greet every band by saying, “What’s up dude? Hey dude! What’s up man? What’s up dude?” was super annoying. Move on, John, you’re like 60…

Christina Aguliera was the hottest chick in the room. Wowzers.

Britney Spears is back, ya’ll! I’m pretty sure MTV rigged the three awards she won to prove that point, but she looked really good and was totally coherent. Good for her!

Did they hold the thing in a high school gym?

I really didn’t think I could love Rihanna any more than I already do, but I thought the opening performance was amazing. She killed it! The zombie theme was awesome — very Thriller of her — and she was actually singing. I love her songs, I love her look, I love everything about her, really.

Russell Brand was awesome too. Those Jonas Brothers jokes had me rolling! He was very entertaining, but let’s get serious…I think I could listen to a British dude reading me the phone book. But I can’t wait until Forgetting Sarah Marshall comes out on DVD because that movie was hilarious.

If the room broke out in a fight-to-the-death brawl, I think Jordin Sparks would be the last one standing. The Seahawks could have used her today.

Travis Barker drumming along with a DJ? HELLS YEAH!

Demi Moore? Really? Ashton must have pulled some strings…

Katy Perry is a bombshell. She needs to star in a Wonder Woman movie, am I right?

I’m not really sure why Lil’ Wayne was even wearing pants, but he was entertaining.

Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears both seemed sober. If Amy Winehouse comes on, I’m buying a lottery ticket.

Paramore sucked.

Paris Hilton’s My New BFF looks horrendous. But I’ll probably still watch.

I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen Slash without a cigarette. I bet he was chewing Nicorette. But I love that he laughed when he saw that Linkin Park won. The world will be a better place when that excuse for a band stops making music. (Slipknot too)

I miss my TiVo dearly.

All the outside performances made it look like they were rocking out on Sesame Street.

The “just got out of bed” look works for guys’ hair. For girls? Not so much. Lauren Conrad apparently didn’t get the memo.

Add Tokio Hotel to the list of bands that should just stop. How the hell did they win the best new artist award?

Lupe Fiasco is so fresh. I’m still bummed I didn’t go see the Kanye/Lupe/N.E.R.D/Rihanna tour last year. That said, Kanye’s new song is weak.

Perez!!!